Do not assume your children know how you feel about drinking. Explain your rules on drinking to your teenagers in advance of problems with alcohol.

Suggested rules:

1. Your child is not permitted to drink alcohol.

2. Your child is not permitted to operate your car after consuming any alcohol.

3. Your child is not allowed to carry alcohol in your car even if the alcohol belongs to a friend and your child will not be drinking alcohol.

4. No person under the age of 21 may drink alcohol in your house.

5. Your child must leave any social gathering where people under 21 years of age are drinking alcohol.

6. Set a time for your child to be home and enforce it.

            Some consequence must follow if the rules you set for your child are broken.

            Remember, you have no obligation to supply your child with the location, transportation, or funds needed for your child to break your rules.

Check up on your teens especially when they ask permission to go to a party or a sleepover.

            Find out if a parent will be present, and, in fact, check that the event is actually supposed to happen at all. Make sure the parent has some way to contact you if there is a problem. Be aware of who your children’s friends are, where they live, what their telephone numbers are. Try to meet their parents.

            Feel free to show up unannounced at your house occasionally during your regular work hours if you can. High school students frequently leave campus undetected.

            Try to stay up until your child comes home to observe his or her speech, coordination, and behavior. If your child does not usually chew gum or mints, but comes home chewing gum or mints, something is up.

Locations frequently used for underage drinking:

Waverley Oaks Park (in Waltham), Waverley Oaks Spray Pool, Rock Meadow, McLeans Hospital property off Concord Avenue, the Habitat, several of the green strips along Route 2, Little Pond, all of the town’s public parks or playgrounds.

Suggestions for Preventing an Underage Drinking Party in Your Home

(in order of preference)

1. Take your teen with you on your overnight trip. You may believe that you can trust your teen, but be aware that your child’s friends (and their friends, and their friends’ friends), upon learning you are away, may come to visit your teen bringing alcohol and expecting to have a party in your home.

2. Have a trusted older adult relative or friend stay in your house with your teen. This method guards both your teen and your house. The caretaker must commit to staying in the home with the teen because parties have taken place even where the caretaker goes out for the evening. Also, don’t choose a high school student to watch your house and your teen.

3. Have your teen stay at the home of a trusted adult relative or friend. Tell your teen and the caretaker that your child is not permitted to sleep over at a friend’s house while you are away on your trip. Allowing a sleepover defeats the purpose of having your teen stay with an adult. Your child is likely to end up back at your house with his or her friends.

4. If your teen must stay in your house without an adult while you are gone, tell your child exactly what you expect. That is: No house parties, no drinking, and that your teen will call you (or the police) if either of these two things starts to happen in your house. Ask your neighbors to watch out for activity at your house while you are gone and tell your child you have done this.

Being the parent of a teen does not equal the freedom to go away!

Times to watch out for teen drinking:

Outdoor underage drinking happens mostly from April to November, but can happen during nice weather even in colder months. Indoor parties can happen throughout the year, but often coincide with some holiday or vacation period when parents go away. Also look for underage drinking the night before a day off from school. Further, small house parties happen when students have half-days off from school.

What to expect when a police officer calls:

The Belmont Police Department tries to inform parents of what their children are up to. The call may be only to provide you with information that you can act on as you see fit. Other times the police may want to question your child or tell you they intend to take some sort of action such as requesting community service from your child or filing a criminal or juvenile charge.

When the police call, do not expect that you know everything there is to know about your child. Many teens develop interests that they conceal from their parents as part of growing up and establishing their independence. Even the best, most honest children can make bad choices. Think carefully about what lesson your child is going to learn from involvement with the police and the actions you take. Will it be that you will believe your child unconditionally and in contradiction to all facts? Will it be that your child can do something wrong and face no consequence? Will protecting your child now lead to your child making better or worse choices later?