Know where your children
are at all times. Be familiar with their friends and daily activities.
Know where your children
are at all times. Be familiar with their friends and daily activities.
Be sensitive to changes in
your children's behavior; they are a signal that you should sit down and talk to
your children about what caused the changes.
Be alert to a teenager or
adult who is paying an unusual amount of attention to your children or giving
them inappropriate or expensive gifts.
Teach your children to
trust their own feelings, and assure them that they have the right to say NO to
what they sense is wrong.
Listen carefully to your
children's fears, and be supportive in all your discussions with them.
Teach your children that
no one should approach them or touch them in a way that makes them feel
uncomfortable. If someone does, they should tell the parents immediately.
Be careful about
babysitters and any other individuals who have custody of your children.
If you are in a
public place, and you get separated from your parents, don't wander around
looking for them. Go to a checkout counter, the security office, or the lost and
found and quickly tell the person in charge that you have lost your mom and dad
and need help in finding them. You should not get into a car
or go anywhere with any person unless your parents have told you that it is
okay. If someone follows you on
foot or in a car, stay away from him or her. You
don't need to go near the car to talk to the people inside. Grownups and others who need
help should not be asking children for help; they should be asking older people. No one should be asking you
for directions or to look for a "lost puppy" or telling you that your
mother or father is in trouble and that he will take you to them. If someone tries to take you
somewhere, quickly get away from him (or her) and yell or scream. "This man
is trying to take me away" or "This person is not my father (or
mother)." You should try to use the
"buddy system" and never go places alone. Always ask your parents'
permission to leave the yard or play area or to go into someone's home. Never hitchhike or try to get
a ride home with anyone unless your parents have told you it is okay to ride
with him or her. No one should ask you to keep
a special secret. If he or she does, tell your parents or teacher. If someone wants to take your
picture, tell him or her NO and tell your parents or teacher. No one should touch you in
the parts of the body covered by the bathing suit, nor should you touch anyone
else in those areas. Your body is special and private. You can be assertive, and you
have the right to say NO to someone who tries to take you somewhere, touches
you, or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way.
"Surfing," the "net," "gopher," and the "Web" have nothing to do with water, small animals, or spiders. It is the new language of cyberspace. Your children are learning about it in school or from their friends, while references to the Information Highway and the Internet on television may be leaving you feeling lost in space.
A few tips will ease your fears and allow you and your child to take advantage of this new technology.
The Internet is a global network of information networks accessible with a computer. Entertainment, education, and information are all at your fingertips. You can visit the world's great libraries, take a college course, play a game, check weather forecasts, and sports scores. Virtually anything you want to know can be found somewhere on the Internet.
This exciting sensation is world-wide and is not regulated by anyone, which opens the door to some risks. Not all information that appears may be accurate. Also, just as people in person can be rude, obnoxious, and exploitative, the anonymity of the computer allows them to be even more so, if they choose.
Does this mean you shouldn't let your child use the Internet? Of course not, it simply means that you should be on the alert and aware of some of the risks.
The best way to assure that your children are having a positive online experience is to stay in touch with what they are doing.
Parents who are concerned about their children's use of electronic resources should provide guidance to their own children. It is important that you as a parent assume responsibility for your child's online computer use, at home, at school, or in the library. Part of your family rules may be:
Make computer use a family activity. Get to know your child's online friends as well as their other friends.
The New York Public Library Home Page
Featuring these two special web sites for children and teens:
Teen Link
Explore hotlines, booklists, links to college and financial aid information,
sports, homework help on teen home pages.
On-Lion: For Kids
Provides answers to questions about homework, holidays, history, people and
places. Plus, great books for children of all ages to read and enjoy.
For further information see:
NYPL's Policy on Public Use of the Internet
Talking to your child, setting rules together, keeping aware of computer services offered, will make using the Internet exciting for you and your child. The opportunities to expand one's horizons are great. These are challenging times in which we live. Make the most of them by sharing the online experience with your child.
The branches of The New York Public Library offer a variety of resources both print and electronic, for all ages. Ask your librarian to help you to find more information on parenting skills, family activities, and the Internet.
| Talk with Your Teens About What They Can and Cannot Do Online |
Be reasonable and set reasonable expectations.
Try to understand their needs, interests, and curiosity. Remember what it
was like when you were their age.
| Be Open with Your Teens and Encourage Them to Come to You if They Encounter a Problem Online |
If they tell you about someone or something they
encountered, your first response should not be to blame them or take away their
Internet privileges. Work with them to help them avoid problems in the future,
and remember – how you respond will determine whether they confide in you the
next time they encounter a problem and how they learn to deal with problems on
their own.
| Learn Everything You Can About the Internet |
Ask your teen to show you what's cool. Have them
show you great places for teens and fill you in on areas that you might benefit
from as well. Make “surfing the net” a family experience. Use it to plan a
vacation, pick out a movie, or check out other family activities. This may be
one area where you get to be the student and your kid gets to be the teacher.
| Check Out Blocking, Filtering, and Ratings |
As you may know, there are now services that rate web sites for content as well as filtering programs and browsers that empower parents to block the types of sites they consider to be inappropriate. These programs work in different ways. Some block sites known to contain objectionable material. Some prevent users from entering certain types of information such as their name and address. Other programs keep your kids away from chat rooms or restrict their ability to send or read E-mail. Generally these programs can be configured by the parent to block only the types of sites that the parent considers to be objectionable.
Whether or not it is appropriate to use one of these programs is a personal decision. If you do use such a program, you'll probably need to explain to your teen why you feel it is necessary. You should also be careful to choose a program whose criteria reflects your family's values. Be sure to configure it so that it doesn't block sites that you want your teen to be able to visit.
It is important to realize that filtering programs cannot protect your child from all dangers in cyberspace. To begin with, no program can possibly block out every inappropriate site. What's more, it’s possible, in some cases, for the programs to block sites that are appropriate. If you use a filtering program, you should re-evaluate it periodically to make sure it's working for your family.
Regardless of whether you use a filtering program, you should still be sure that your teen follows all of the basic rules listed in this brochure. Filtering programs are not a substitute for good judgment or critical thinking. With or without filters, kids and their parents need to be “net savvy.”